oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
