This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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