Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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