My liver just broke up with me...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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