last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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