The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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