Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize