There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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