I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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