If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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