They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize