Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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