My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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