im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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