Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize