Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
