she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
