DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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