Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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