Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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