On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize