he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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