I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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