no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
