You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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