He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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