He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.