You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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