It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
