Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.