you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.