I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
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We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house