your room smells of hookers.
And success
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
