i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
