HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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