She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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