and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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