Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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