Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize