lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize