Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
