Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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