I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
