what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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