Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize