Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
