He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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