I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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