***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize