I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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