oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
