Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize